when i have fears that i may cease to be.

One passage that I found moving was near the end of the book, where Oedipa considers her own sanity. She attempts to stop and consider the logical possibilities that are driving the events with which she has become obsessed, but finds that every road leads to a dead end. She realizes that because she has begun to see the vague patterns in the world around her she has become utterly alone, for either the patterns are only inside of her head, or the patterns are the work of other people and she, in trying to untangle them, has become their enemy. She cannot find refuse, neither in the world or in her own mind. This part of the book reminded me of the scene where she stands with Pierce in front of the painting in mexico and realizes that perhaps she, like the women in the painting, is merely stitching her own fabric into the void, filling it with her imagination and nothing more: "and so Pierce had taken her away from nothing, there'd been nothing to escape." (11) This passage distinctly foreshadows the later part in the book, as Oedipa once again recognizes the futility of escape inside the void: "For this, oh God, was the void. There was nobody who could help her. Nobody in the world." (141) Here, Oedipa realizes that she has left herself standing alone in the void. Because of her paranoia she has begun to recede the "fabric" that she has earlier woven into the world. The fabric was everything she knew and had created and held as true. As she sees more and more mystery in the world, and recognizes more and more patterns leading her she begins to dismantle the fabric of her world, eventually leaving her locked in the tower of her ego with no possible place to escape, with nobody left entwined inside of her fabric but herself. (Perhaps this is what Dr. Hillarius had warned against when telling Oedipa to Cherish it!...What else do any of you have?...Whatever it is, hold it dear, for when you lose it you go over by that much to the others. You begin to cease to be." (113))

p.s. speaking earlier about popular culture reference, here's a nice inversion: Radiohead's merchandise and ticket mailing service is known as "w.a.s.t.e."